I’ve been a Christian for about nine years now.
The idea of Christianity was never a new one to me; in fact, it was practically a given.
I’ve attended church since before I could walk (Fun fact: I almost exited the womb on the church pew–wouldn’t that have been a Wednesday night service to remember?) My parents put me in a Christian school when I was five years old, and it’s the only school I’ve ever known. I’ve participated in countless Sunday school classes, youth retreats, and Bible studies.
All this to say, the Christian faith has almost become just another piece to my personality.
When I think about how I might describe myself, a series of words come to mind: teenager, friend, quiet, nice, soccer player, writer, Christian.
I’m afraid that my Christian identity, just like nice and soccer player, has become just another characteristic to add to my personality.
I don’t want people to use Christian to define me just because I go to church and to a Christian school. I don’t want it to be just another word used to describe me to someone else.
I want Christ to burn through me, outshining everything else.
It’s too easy to dismiss everything about what it really means to be a Christian–dying to yourself, sacrificing, compromise, following. Those are all just words to people who don’t understand their purpose.
And I am afraid that too often I forget that purpose.
I forget what it’s like to die to myself—give up all that I want.
I become numb to the meaning of sacrifice—what Christ did for me.
I throw away compromise—the act of putting together two halves for a whole.
And most importantly, I forget what it means to follow—abandoning every plan I made for myself and acknowledging that Jesus’ is better, even though I may not see what His plan holds yet.
If your childhood was anything like mine, you’ll understand that Christianity was something that was always expected–something everyone around you encouraged you to pursue.
But it’s not until you mature and grow up a little bit that you actually start to sort of understand what it means to pursue Jesus and to be a Christian. And then you’re left to ask and answer the question of whether or not “that Christianity thing” is really worth your time.
Sound harsh? Good. The truth hurts.
But it’s also 100% necessary to hear, whether you enjoy hearing it or not.
I know that growing up in a Christian household may seem like it gives you an upper hand, but really, I believe it to be a slight disadvantage.
If Christianity wasn’t something I was so comfortable hearing, it might be easier not to take it for granted. Because the hard truth is, I do take it for granted. Every day of my life.
Valuing Christ is something He deserves. Praising Him is something He desires. But none of these things He needs.
But we do it because He loves us when we are completely and utterly unlovable.
If we lose sight of this, what purpose is there in believing?
From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.
“You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.
Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”
John 6:66-69 NIV
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