I heard a song the other day by John Mayer that arrived at an opportune moment in my humdrum social-distancing day. It's from one of John's older albums, Born and Raised. I credit this blog post's title to the name of the song: "The Age of Worry."
I've listened to this song two-dozen times in the past twenty-four hours, and I think it pretty well describes this COVID-19 season.
Some of the lyrics read:
Alive in the age of worry
Rage in the age of worry
Sing out in the age of worry
And sing 'Worry, why should I care?'
I would confidently name these months of social-distancing and quarantining an "age of worry"-- plans changed, flights canceled, fears manifested into full-blown panic and anxiety. We look to our national leaders for help, and we are struck with the fact that we are in unknown territory.
What are we to do, overcome with doubt and despair?
Worry. At least, that's what instinct says.
I am a natural-born worrier; this season has been far from easy for me. I've fought anxiety my whole life. If you've struggled with mental health at all, you'll know what rollercoasters our thoughts and emotions can be. One bad thought has the power to ruin your day and steal your peace. During the semester, when I'm busy and meeting with people consistently, my anxiety abates. However, being forced indoors for long periods of time wreaks havoc on my mental health, and I experience a coaster of negativity on a regular basis.
If everything I'm describing is what you're walking through right now, I get it and I am so, so sorry, friend. If I could give you a hug through the screen, I would.
You are not alone. And while we may feel powerless to change the trajectory of our thoughts, God has equipped us with the necessary tools to defeat a ruthless thought pattern.
This is my favorite Scripture passage that encourages me during periods of anxiety:
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:4-9
If you lived in my building at Lee, you'd have seen the last section of this passage written on a poster in my hall. Back in the summer, God placed these verses (8-9) on my heart as our hall theme. I didn't realize the impact these verses would continue to have on me this year, even after all my hall decorations are packed up and stored away in storage.
I've been reading a book titled "Get Out of Your Head" by Jennie Allen. I've posted about it several times on my Instagram story, and many of you have reached out and asked me about it. Consider this blog post your preview!
Jennie writes with authenticity about her experience with anxiety, doubt, and spiritual warfare. The theme that echoes throughout the pages of her book is the truth, You are not your thoughts and emotions.
I'm a pretty emotional person; my rollercoaster of thoughts contains crests of joy and troughs of overwhelming fear. It's my gut reaction to allow my emotions, whatever they may be, to dictate my attitude and experiences.
These uncontrollable emotions ultimately affect my relationships with the Lord and with people.
I've been learning, with the help of God, my therapist, and this book that not every thought I have is a reflection of who I am. I am angry that, when the enemy sees how close our hearts are bound to God's, he decides to worm his way into our minds and watch us self-destruct.
I've felt like a weak Christian for struggling to make time for God and leaving my Bible-reading to my last few minutes before I crash for the night. I've been burdened lately with a prayer for God to give me a deeper desire to know Him in this season of uncertainty; not know Him purely to receive the answers I long for but know Him to simply know Him.
I thought I was alone in this struggle until I attended a small group via Zoom recently, and I was met with prayer requests from girls just like me searching for the desire to pursue God's heart more. I was struck with the innocence of these prayers.
I wonder just how many of us are truly wrestling with this same desire to know God more in this season, too.
Just last night, I read a chapter in Jennie's book where she discusses this very struggle. She writes:
"Why is the simplest, best thing for our souls' long-term health so crazy difficult to do? I'll tell you: because real, connected, intimate time with Jesus is the very thing that grows our faith, shifts our minds, brings about revival in our souls, and compels us to share Jesus with others. It's where the spiral stops. To put it plainly: all hell is against us meeting with Jesus" (pg. 70).
Wow. Until we recognize the Enemy's powers of distraction and begin prioritizing quiet time with the Lord, we will be powerless to overcome our negative thoughts.
It's hard to talk honestly about mental health when COVID-19 is destroying families and hurting communities across the world. I think maybe the Enemy sees a great opportunity to strike when the world is still and confined indoors.
In case no one's reminded you lately, you are not weak for needing to step away from the chaos and set free some tears (or maybe a scream).
You are brave for walking through COVID-19 and waging war with your mind every morning, afternoon, and night. Whatever lie your mind is telling you, it's okay to acknowledge it but you must eventually let it go.
You're talking to the queen of not letting things go. I'm not talking about grudges; I'm talking about thoughts. It is so hard to let go of the thoughts that threaten to destroy me, but eventually, if I want to get better, I have to. And so do you.
The best way I've found to let go of negative thoughts is by laying those burdens at the feet of Jesus and moving forward. Acknowledge, and have grace with yourself. Sometimes I can be my own worst critic, but the Lord desires more for you and me.
And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.
Isaiah 58:11
During this 'age of worry', I challenge both you and myself to step into God's boundless love and treat ourselves with kindness in this season.
Tend to your mind like a well-watered garden, and sow good thoughts.
xoxo,
Hannah
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