I will cut adrift—I will sit on pavements and drink coffee—I will dream; I will take my mind out of its iron cage and let it swim—this fine October.
-Virginia Woolf
You haven't heard much from me this semester; at least, not in the medium of this blog. It's been a semester of unexpecteds—and what more could I have hoped for in my last term in college?—and it's kept me endlessly busy.
We've just submitted Issue 11 of the Vindagua, and suddenly, I have what feels like an abundance of time (though I fear it's only fleeting). Working on staff as a section editor for the past three semesters has been one of the highlights of my university experience—I never could have imagined, in all my freshmen-years dreams, that I would have the opportunity to help produce a magazine that encompasses a semester of life at Lee. I've also been occupied as the social media liaison for Sigma Tau Delta, Lee University's chapter of the international English honor society. This commitment has provided an outlet to plug into the English department and organize events that build community among majors, and it's truly been the greatest fun. On top of these two responsibilities, I've also offered three hours each week to tutoring at the Writing Center, which can be quite energizing when I actually feel as though I'm helping a fellow writer.
Academics aside, I've been taking a one-credit hour outdoor recreation class, where we've gone climbing, kayaking, and camping (the camping, I will tell you, was not a shining moment for me, but it came with an amusing story to tell). I've never considered myself to be an exceptionally outdoorsy person, but visiting the Pacific Northwest this summer and immersing myself in nature sparked a flame I haven't been able to put out.
I've really felt God's presence most through my Wednesday night small group. Hosted by the lively Jennie—who has been a wonderful mentor to me this semester—a group of us college girls meet at her home for dinner every week and spend time talking about Jesus. As Jennie describes the group: "We just do life together." Most of the girls in the group are in different departments at Lee or attend other colleges, so the only time we see each other is usually on those Wednesday nights. It's given me a supportive faith community to lean on when life gets tough, which has been a lot of the time lately.
I've also been spending the semester preparing for life in the United Kingdom come spring. Our group meets every Friday afternoon to discuss culture, currency, classes, and anything else relevant to our time abroad since we will be spending three months overseas. The prospect of traveling internationally again in a world recovering from COVID-19 is tremendously thrilling—I can hardly contain my excitement! I am eager to embrace the U.K.'s culture and spend time studying on Cambridge's historic campus; opportunities like these are once-in-a-lifetime, and I intend to savor every second.
The last piece of news which I really haven't advertised yet are my plans for next fall. As my grandma affectionately teases, "Does that future include applying for a job?" Not yet, I'm afraid to say. I had intended to dive headfirst into the M.F.A. application process for graduate school, but after a summer spent surrounded by ministry and feeling a pull back to the Pacific Northwest, I've chosen to postpone my graduate school plans. I have recently been accepted into the Discipleship Training School (DTS) at the YWAM base in Salem, Oregon. I will be living on the base in Oregon for three months deepening my relationship with Jesus, living in community with other twenty-somethings, and participating in local ministry outreach opportunities in Oregon's capital city. Then, I will be going on a three-month outreach trip overseas to share the Gospel and meet practical needs. I feel so strongly that pursuing this DTS is just where I need to be. As with most of the decisions we make in the name of Jesus, I cannot explain this calling adequately, only recount story after story which might blow your mind and convince you, too (stories which I will gladly share, should you desire to hear them, over a cup of coffee).
I always saw myself living an unconventional life, even as a child. I would dream of living in England or Spain, something romantic like that. But when I started college in the fall of 2018, I got swept up in the cookie-cutter Christian college vision like most everyone else—meeting "the One," engagement, marriage. However, I've been reminded, though painful and enthralling at the same time, that my timeline might look different than the timelines of my peers.
I am in love with my personal life journey and the journey of following Jesus. This journey has led me to major in English—a field that seems wasteful on the surface, but it has shown me more about God's nature than traditional church sermons sometimes have. This journey has led me to build friendships—true, authentic friendships—that outweigh quantity in quality. This journey has led me to pack up my bags and move cross-country for six months (at least).
I am in the minority, or so it seems, through the lens of my Christian college. Or perhaps I am in the majority that just isn't widely discussed. Don't get me wrong—I have loved my time at Lee. It's been good to me these four years. However, the closer I inch to graduation, the more confident I am that Lee has served its purpose in my life, and it is nearly time for my chapter there to close. While it would be nice to graduate with a ring on my finger, I'm certain that I'm leaving with something far more sustaining for the life journey I am on right now. I'm stubbornly pursuing the dreams that have been awakened within me, wherever they may go—to travel well and live heartily, to write often, and to take risks for the Kingdom.
After YWAM, I have no idea what's on the horizon. And that's thrilling.
When I was considering my choices for life post-graduation, I sought counsel from a former high school teacher of mine whose daughter had completed a YWAM DTS. This teacher said to me, "I don't want to be melodramatic, but it's the decisions like you are about to make that will direct your life. More than you can ever comprehend." And her words have haunted me for the past several months as I contemplate the stories I want to live and tell my grandchildren one day.
I'll leave you with the acclaimed poem by Robert Frost, which reminds me how easy it can be to harbor regrets and encourages me to make my choices count. Come what may, the future is here.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
—"The Road Not Taken"
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