I want to ask you all a question.
Do you trust God?
Really and truly– do you?
Do I?
I started keeping a prayer journal last semester, and I end almost every single one of my prayers with a simple (take note of the word simple): “God, I love You, and I trust You.”
But days like today, when I’m worn thin and overextended, grasping at control left and right, I have to ask myself: Do I really trust God the way I claim to?
Do I trust that He is big enough to bring my story to perfect completion in His perfect timing?
Do I trust that He’s working out all the pieces, even if I can’t see the puzzle quite yet?
Do I trust and believe Him when He tells me He’s got it all under control?
As I sit here writing these words at one o’clock in the morning, I click over to my Bible app to look for applicable Scriptures. Guess what the verse of the day is?
Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.
Jeremiah 17:7
As I live and breathe, the Lord continues to be intentional with me about making His Presence known in the quiet and the noisy spaces of life. He sees my heart, and yours too, and He is able to empathize with us and literally feel our pain.
One of my very good friends and co-floor leader at Lee, Madison Smith, imparted a piece of wisdom to me the other day that I will not soon forget. She said, “Sometimes, when you’re looking at a situation so closely, you have a difficult time seeing the bigger picture. It’s like when you’re trying to work a puzzle and all you’re paying attention to are the individual pieces because the pieces are all that’s immediately in front of you.”
Some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, & end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment, & making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.
Gilda Radner
This struck a chord in me. How painfully true is this for so many of us? We are so focused on the tiny details, feelings, thoughts, and encounters that we search for validation and attempt to piece everything together in a way that seems most evident from up-close.
But I wonder how much this pains the Father. He sees everything— every detail– from high and low and close and far and knows every intricate thread that ties together our stories. He knew where we would go to school and who we would be friends with and who we will marry and where we will live and an innumerable number of facts about us BEFORE WE WERE EVEN THOUGHT OF BY OUR PARENTS.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
Psalm 139:16
I just can’t help but find so much peace in the promise that the Lord knew. Knows. I sit here, worrying about saying or doing the right thing as if one tiny slip is going to change the course of my life forever. No where in the Bible does it say God expects me to be perfect “or else”. No where in the Bible does it say that if I can’t figure out what’s next God will leave me high and dry. The Lord does not throw us out in the wilderness of the world and expect us to fend for ourselves. He’s not sitting up in heaven looking down saying “Well, good luck.” No.
Our lives are determined by the choices we make– yes. However, I believe and I know that if you place God at the forefront of every decision you make, and if you invite Him to walk alongside you in your journey (because why not? He already is), He will be your Guiding Light. You may not know when He’s about to do something cool, and tragedy might still occur because we live in a fallen world, but He will continually come through for you IN HIS TIMING no matter how murky or bleak your circumstances look from up-close.
Psalm 37 is an incredible display of God’s faithfulness to His people, and I would encourage you to read it if you get the chance. Here are a few of my favorites:
The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand. I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread. He is ever lending generously, and his children become a blessing. Psalm 37: 23-26
Did you catch that? The Lord does not leave us, His children, “begging for bread”. He provides– even more so than a doting, attentive earthly father can provide for his children.
When you start to feel unworthy and overlooked, I hope you remember how worthy and seen you are by the magnificent God of the universe. Your story is already written, and you can’t undo what the Maker so intentionally designated for your life no matter how much you believe you made a mess of things. Trust me– nothing is too messy for Jesus.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.
Ecclesiastes 3:11
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