Jesus just continues to blow my mind with His absolute perfect timing.
Coming out of the good-feelings haze of retreat + out of the distraction-free jungle of Bayoca, and back to the everyday norm of life, I carried with me an armload of promises–promises to myself, to others, and especially to God. Promises to be a better…me. To pray for people consistently, to love like Jesus when it’s the furthest thing from my mind, and to follow Jesus completely, no strings attached, not when it’s easy or comfortable, but All. In.
It’s overwhelming, ya know, to even process all those promises and even more so to actually follow through with them when you’re in the bustling world and not the serenity of a forest far from cell reception.
But tonight. Jesus just spoke to me, y’all. I popped in my earbuds to listen to some All Sons and Daughters while I journaled, and the first song that played was called “Reason to Sing.” I had never heard it before, but the lyrics grabbed me from the beginning.
When the pieces seem too shattered/ To gather off the floor/ And all that really matters/ Is that I can’t feel You anymore (2x)/ I need a reason to sing
The rest of the words are phenomenal as well, but those especially captivated me at the start. Going into retreat, I honestly couldn’t say I had heard God’s voice in a while. Life happened, and suddenly I was staying up too late and working too often and practicing soccer all the time and balancing school on top of other things, and Jesus just became Someone I squeezed in when I could barely keep my eyes open or in the five minutes before I had to get out of my car for school. I was far from Him. I needed a reason to sing.
For the past two years, retreat hasn’t created in me a huge + lasting desire to change the way I’m living my life. But this year, God spoke. It’s time for me to stop messing around and start taking my faith seriously. It’s time to quit being a Christian simply because that’s all I’ve ever known; it’s time to own my identity in Christ because it’s what I want. Not what my parents, or my teachers, or my peers, want from me. But what I want out of this life and the eternity beyond. This is what I want from Jesus, and what He has so freely given me.
This is my reason to sing.
“Reason to Sing” by All Sons and Daughers: https://youtu.be/UGhmvNGFENE
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