hello again!
it’s been a minute.
college is far more demanding than they said it would be– or rather, i chose not to listen when they said it would be difficult.
we often do that as children into our young adult years, don’t we? we choose to listen to things we want to hear instead of the wisdom our elders impart to us. i think that’s how it’s supposed to be– others can share stories and lessons learned, but it comes down to the individual to learn that lesson for him/herself.
i feel like college is one big trial-and-error– if one class doesn’t suit you, you can transfer to another. if a date with someone doesn’t work out, you don’t have to see them again. you can change your major (theoretically) however many times you want and you can go to as many different clubs’ meetings as you wish. you can party, if that’s your thing, and enjoy basking in your youth. college is a place that is, to a certain degree, separated from commitment.
it’s so ironic because a good life is nothing but commitment: commitment in matrimony, commitment in career, commitment in finances, etc. college is the one point of time in your life that you don’t necessarily need to make big commitments. (obviously, don’t completely take this idea to heart– you at least must commit to your academics if you want to end up with a degree in four-ish years).
fun college story: at the beginning of the semester, i went out on a couple dates with this really sweet, considerate, good-looking guy. we got coffee and talked about life, but at the end of the second date i told him i just wasn’t ready to commit to a relationship with anyone yet. truthfully, as great of guy he is, our personalities were just too similar (introverted, reserved, old soul). i just didn’t see myself being able to commit to a long-lasting relationship with him as a freshman in college without at least meeting other guys first.
however– the one Thing that i catch myself finding a commitment to in college is God. even so, i wrestled with Him at the beginning of the semester. i still question and doubt His Presence in my life when i don’t see immediate results to the labors of my prayers, when i sit in patient wait for the next move, when i struggle to approach relationships with patience and grace, when i agonize over getting a stupid boy’s attention…when, when, when. my thoughts have gotten the better of me some days, and others not so much.
through these experiences, i’ve learned and i still am learning this: God is one-hundred percent committed to me.
isn’t this such a wonderful thing to ponder? how much God loves, cherishes, and forgives us when we struggle to find such commitment anywhere else?
God sees us making choices, good and bad, and yet He loves us anyway. He gives us guidance, wisdom, and parables in His Word, but we have to be the ones to learn why He directs us in the ways He does.
i’ve learned so many lessons the hard way. i’ve fallen too quickly for romantic prospects that weren’t blessed by God and ended up hurt and brokenhearted. i’ve searched for my worth to be found in social media likes and followers and ended up feeling hopelessly alone amongst all my “friends”. my problem was that i was searching for a lasting commitment in things of the world rather than looking to filled by God and God alone.
the beautiful thing, though, is how abundantly God gives grace. of course He desires for us to take His advice and heed it completely. but i believe God also realizes the depth of our humanity– He often brings holiness through the broken cracks in our stories. we learn the hard lessons so we can go forward and live more fully in His plan for our lives. He recognizes our imperfections and loves us anyway.
God’s just so cool like that.
i think the secret to commitment in life is first committing to Jesus. I promise, everything else will then fall into place. not that it will be easy or without hardship, but you will be filled by the love of Christ in a way the world simply cannot attain.
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